I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago that received more shares and more comments almost as much as all my other blog posts had together. Some loved it, some really didn’t. Which is ok because you know after all, we’re not part of the community of Jesus followers because we all agree. Continue reading
Category Archives: Porn Talk
Nuts magazine closing: How the Church should respond.
On Monday, Nuts, the lads magazine announced that they were considering bringing their publication to a close and ceasing operations. I read a few tweets celebrating this fact and I’m going to admit it will be better for there to be one less magazine on display in shops which depicts women as just objects for men to masturbate over. Because let’s be honest nobody buys these magazines for the in-depth and insightful movie reviews.
But will it really make much of a difference? 
Why John Piper is wrong about Porn
Several years ago I read an article by a Pastor I had never heard of but which transformed the way I thought about sin and addiction and their consequences. I had been a porn addict for a few years already and John Piper’s words filled me with hope and peace and strength. I still come back to this article even now and if you are struggling with porn or any sin for that matter I really, really can’t recommend it enough. Continue reading
What my addiction is really about.
So much of my addiction and my faith has been based on the belief that I am not worthy to be loved.
There are many reasons why. Continue reading
Why Giving Up is the Only way to beat addiction. Part 2.
If you strip it down to its core essence, essentially all addiction is about worshiping an idol.
Now I realize that the term idol has a lot of religious connotations which will put off many people, but I think that the word idol fits well here. Especially if we rethink what it means.
So let me come up with a definition of an idol that hopefully will resonate with anyone struggling with an addiction, regardless of belief. Here goes. Continue reading
What you don’t know about Addiction
Addiction is a focused and malevolent disease.
It’s not impartial. Impartiality suggests some kind of outside mediator working for peace, but it doesn’t do that. It doesn’t even hate. Hate suggests some sort of emotion exists; some sort of reason to hate. But nothing has caused addiction to hate. It doesn’t hate you. It is emotionless and void of any respectable trait.
At least hate can arise from anger and anger can be righteous.
Not addiction.
But hate is actually the thing that can help us defeat addiction. Hate may be ugly but it’s real; it is human.
Addiction doesn’t make you feel bad; it uses yourself to make you feel bad. Since addiction has no human characteristics or feelings it isn’t put off when things are going well. Addiction can’t be human itself so it makes you less human. When you are about to act out, the thought of your wife or your kids or family and friends won’t stop addiction in it’s pursuit to destroy you. Forget logic because logic is not in addiction’s vocabulary. You can be addicted and rich, poor, young, old, male, female, angry, generally happy, a Pastor or a teacher. You can feel strong and ready in the morning and depressed and defeated in the afternoon.
But it can be defeated.
By reminding ourselves what being alive feels like. By hating all the ways our life is being ripped apart. By taking steps to connect with people who have won and are winning and to let them show us how. By being open even when it is painful, because at least pain means you are alive.
With every repeated day of sobriety, addiction loses its sting. With every single day that you understand what being alive really feels like, the less addiction can stop you. It won’t give up though, it’s steadfast in its goal, but more and more you will be able to put up the walls necessary to win.
You will forget and you will need people to remind you.
You will give up and you will need people to fight for you.
You will hate yourself and you will need people to love you.
Because hating addiction is only there to set the foundation for the real force that will make you stronger.
Love.
You hate addiction because you know that there is something deeper and elusive.
The love of yourself. The love of others and the love of others for you.
For today at least that’s all we’ve got.
But it’s enough.
Is God really always there to help us?
God won’t give you anything you can’t handle.
Really?
Because there have been many times when I have failed. Many times when I was alone and prayed to God to protect me from temptation only to give in and look at porn a few minutes later. Many times when I had to give a talk that I was nervous for and definitely didn’t do the message or myself any justice.
So is it true that God won’t give us anything we can’t handle? Continue reading
Russell Brand, Addiction and the Church
I caught up with Russell Brand’s (fast becoming one of my favourite people in the spotlight) show about addiction last night.
It was encouraging, discouraging, hopeful and despairing all in one drug fuelled (the topic of the show, I’m sure the producers were completely professional) BBC3 show. In fact that’s a lot like the emotions you go through when you’re addicted to something.
You’re up and then you’re down. You see light at the end of the tunnel and as Karen , one drug addict featured on the show commented, the next minute a train is coming towards you.
Watching the show made me realise how much different addictions have in common. There are huge differences too of course. You can’t say that crack addiction is the same as a shopping addiction or even a porn addiction but there are huge similarities. Continue reading
A Friendly Sunday morning Porn Message
Some of you might ask why do I write and tweet about porn so much.
The reason is simple. I struggled with porn for a long time and now I want to help people who still do, break free from this addiction. As a Christian when I hear stats like 50% of Christian families admitting that porn has been an issue in their homes, it makes me wonder just how much porn is a problem in the Church. When almost the same amounts of Pastors admit that they have looked at porn while working I don’t really need to wonder too much more. Continue reading
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