How to Noah you are a true Christian.

Inspired by my friend Craig Gross’s blog about Noah I have decided it would be really helpful if we had some way of telling who is really a Christian and who isn’t based on your opinion of the movie “Noah” and also the newly released “God’s not Dead.”

As many people have pointed out on blog posts, comments and Facebook statuses, ones opinions on these movies are critical in telling whether you are a true Christian or not. So throw away your books on predestination and election, don’t waste your time loving your neighbor. Those are all just facades to the true indicator of your faith; my fool proof, only slightly heretical, certified by no one in particular and snappily named,

“Are you really a Christian, really? Because I saw your Facebook status about seeing Noah and now I think I might have to turn all John Piper on your ass and bid you farewell” true Christian quiz.

Let’s go..

1. Which of these statement do you align with the most?

a/ Evolution rules
b/ The Evolution of Hip Hop Dancing
c/ Evolution?!!…HERETIC!!!!

2. How many times have you tweeted about how awesome “God’s not dead” is?

a/ 0-3
b/ 3-9.333
c/ 10-666

3. Which statement reflects how surprised you were when you found out about “Rock Monsters” in the Noah story?

a/ “What are they….like that creature out of The Neverending Story?”
b/ “Metallica are in the Noah movie?…man I hate those cheap gimmicky celebrity cameos”
c/ “Yeah well duh, I do read my Bible you know.”

4. Which is most believable?

a/ Evolution
b/ The story of “Noah” as depicted in the movie “Noah”
c/ The acting in “God’s not dead”

5. How many people have come to experience Jesus and unconditional love and Grace and peace after reading the comments section in a post about a Christian/Biblical movie?

a/ 0
b/ No one
c/ Zilch

So how did you do? Let’s find out.

If you answered any of the questions….I would seriously suggest getting outside and doing something else.

If you answered mostly a’s you’re just lazy and didn’t even read the other answers.

If you answered mostly b’s or c’s then that has no obvious consequences for you as a Christian and

If you answered mostly d’s, then you’ve bigger problems to worry about.

2 thoughts on “How to Noah you are a true Christian.

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