Christians and porn. Why protesting is not the answer.

How we treat porn stars or page 3 models is a question that is often absent in any discussion on the exploitation of women and to some extent men, in the mammoth porn industry that is in our faces more often than not.

Most people don’t like sexism, most people believe that male or female bodies should not be used for the sexual pleasure of a 14 year old cracking open the pages of Zoo in his bedroom. And an end to publications that promote these thoughts and ideas would benefit a lot of people.

Yet, I see a problem with the promotion simply of boycotts or protests of magazines like Zoo or “newspapers” like the Sun. Continue reading

Burritos, IKEA diagrams and Lust

A lot of the time when we read the Bible we come away even more confused than we did going into it. For a ‘Christian manual’ it makes all the sense of an instruction diagram in an IKEA flat pack. (Hang on why does screw 163758 look exactly the same as 384912? Why does that weird cartoon alien guy still look happy doing this? I think the cupboard’s done… wait what’s that weird noise and where is the cat?) Continue reading

7 (Alternative) Reasons To Stop Looking At Porn.

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Much of religion is focused on what we shouldn’t do and why we shouldn’t do it. Undoubtedly there are things that we do to ourselves and others that cause pain and hurt. But is living in the constant fear of messing up and what that might mean, a good and free way of living for a Christian. There is a difference between not doing A so that B won’t happen (fear driven behavior) and choosing to live in another way, so that this will happen (Love driven behavior).

When it comes to addressing issues like porn addiction a more helpful approach is to move away from highlighting the shame that it might cause you and your community and instead focusing on how bringing it to light will bring life and joy and fullness instead.

Love always trumps shame.

So as a compliment to a recent blog post I read by Tim Challies on why you should stop looking at porn I want to offer some thoughts on how we should think about sin and 7 alternative reasons to not look at porn. Continue reading

“I love you, and I’m here…that’s all I got”

If you’ve been keeping track of the latest season of Louie, you will have seen the show take a slightly different route than previous seasons. For a couple of recent episodes most of the comedic noir take on life of a divorced, stand up comic Dad with his two daughters in New York has been exchanged for a more poignant perspective on Fatherhood. Especially coping with the challenges of facing up to the same mistakes you made as a kid coming back to haunt you through your own kids. Continue reading

Look at porn?….Why not: Redefining sexuality for the church.

Everyone knows that it can prove very dangerous to mess up on grammar. You can really give the wrong impression with an ill placed comma or full stop. Or in the case of the title of this blog, a question mark.

 

You could read the title of this blog in two ways. Firstly, you could read it as a invitation to look at porn and a response to take that invitation up on its offer.

The other way you could read it is as an invitation, followed by a response detailing a few reasons why you wouldn’t or shouldn’t look at porn.lets eat grandma

I’ve definitely asked myself the very same question and answered in both ways, countless times in my life. But I think a question like this and how we respond shows us a lot of why churches are ill equipped to talk about porn or sex with their congregations. It’s not so much that it’s a bad question or even unhelpful, but rather not the best way to start conversations around sex. Continue reading

A Confession for Easter.

Today is a day just like any other. I mess up. I screw my best friend over. I cheat. I lie. I put someone else down to try and build myself up. I can’t stop doing that one thing.

Yet, painfully and slowly I am learning that my sins are not an accurate indicator for who I am. I want to be known and I can’t be known unless I am fully honest. If I hide the true part of me that I am ashamed of then I know that the me that people love is not fully or truly me.

Their love is to me at least, fake.  Continue reading